I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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