Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
