He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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