Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You ate ashes out of my bong
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
