Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
