why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
