i'm signing you up for texting rehab
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
