I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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