I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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