Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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