The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
