So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
