Christians are straight up FREAKS
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
