if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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