I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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