Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize