You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If I die, sorry about rent.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
