I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
last night I used snow as a chaser
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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