ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
