if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
