I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
