just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we're making bets on your personal life
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
