ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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