walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
