Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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