He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
