Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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