How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
