1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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