East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
