Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize