My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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