omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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