HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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