Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
