She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
