They should really pass out barf bags in church
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
