I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
