My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
