ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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