So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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