Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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