Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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