Do you still have your period?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I have tasted many bathrooms
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
