Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
