I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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