Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
