her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
