I can tuck mytits in my pants
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
