Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
