3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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