You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
