weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
