i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
