so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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