Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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