Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
