Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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