ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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