it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
